


Unexpected Confessions

by s0hmam0miji (amai_kaminari)



Category: Get Backers
Genre: Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-10
Updated: 2009-12-10
Packaged: 2017-10-04 08:19:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amai_kaminari/pseuds/s0hmam0miji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><b>ANIME:</b> GetBackers<br/><b>DISCLAIMERS: </b>GetBackers and all GetBackers characters are property of Yuya Aoki and Rando Ayamine."My Medea" lyrics from the Warm Strangers album are copyright of Vienna Teng.<br/><b>WARNINGS:</b> Shonen-ai, Yaoi, ShidoXBan, OCXBan, GinjiXBan, BanXGinji. Sexual Assault Scene. Enough angst and fluff to go around.</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Uninvited Guest

**Author's Note:**

> **ANIME:** GetBackers  
> **DISCLAIMERS: **GetBackers and all GetBackers characters are property of Yuya Aoki and Rando Ayamine."My Medea" lyrics from the Warm Strangers album are copyright of Vienna Teng.  
> **WARNINGS:** Shonen-ai, Yaoi, ShidoXBan, OCXBan, GinjiXBan, BanXGinji. Sexual Assault Scene. Enough angst and fluff to go around.

**ANIME:** GetBackers  
**DISCLAIMERS: **GetBackers and all GetBackers characters are property of Yuya Aoki and Rando Ayamine."My Medea" lyrics from the Warm Strangers album are copyright of Vienna Teng.  
**WARNINGS:** Shonen-ai, Yaoi, ShidoXBan, OCXBan, GinjiXBan, BanXGinji. Sexual Assault Scene. Enough angst and fluff to go around.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** My third fan fiction! The longest one yet! The story is mine, as is the original character that appears in the story.

Japanese:

_Saru-mashi_: Monkey Boy (Ban's insulting nickname for Shido)

* * *

  
** UNEXPECTED CONFESSIONS **

_by **sohmamomiji  
**_

** _Chapter 1: Uninvited Guest_ **

"…_for I must die for what I've done  
__a twist of fate a desert sun  
__for I see what I destroy  
__sweet reflection knife in me  
__for I see what I destroy  
__I can see what I've begun…"_

The blaring radio keeps Ban company on the drive home.

After completing a particularly hard-fought recovery in Mugenjou, Ban had decided to leave  
the wrap up to the New VOLTS. Injured and with his trump card jagan spent, it would have  
been tempting fate for Ban to spend even a minute longer in the Limitless Fortress than he  
absolutely had to. Sighing, Ban wishes that his partner had come home with him, but Ginji had,  
understandably, decided to stay the night to help comfort an injured Makubex.

A lone figure, perched in a nearby tree, watches Ban as he returns to his apartment sans Ginji.  
For almost an hour, the figure patiently observes the activities inside the GetBackers' apartment,  
silently watching as Ban replaces the bloody bandages on his shoulder with fresh ones. Waiting  
for the right moment to strike. Finally, the streets are deserted. Time to move.

Ban hears a knock at the door.

"Oi, Ginji. Forget your keys?"

He opens the door. Shido.

"What the hell do you want, Saru-mashi? Ginji's not here."

"I know that, Snake Bastard. I have a business matter to discuss."

Ban grunts, but steps aside to let Shido in. Suddenly, Shido turns quickly and flicks the contents  
of a small vial into Ban's face. Ban's instincts kick in, but his limbs fail him. Injuries incurred inside  
Mugenjou rack his body with pain, making him just a split-second slower than Shido as he tries  
to react. That split-second delay had been all that Shido needed as the potion has its desired affect.  
Ban recognizes the scent immediately: Himiko's paralysis perfume.

How fucking bizarre, Ban thinks to himself. When Ban had fought Shido many months ago,  
Shido had boasted 'Midou Ban, If I were fighting seriously, then I would be out of your league'  
… for Shido to resort to a dirty trick like Himiko's paralysis serum…

"Why the hell do you have paralysis perfume, Monkey Boy?" Ban curses as he stands, involuntarily  
frozen, next to his attacker.

"I claimed it as payment." Shido replies arrogantly, raising an eyebrow. "After all, it would have been  
a shame to see Lady Poison waste something so… useful… just to shake the car-full of common  
yakuza thugs who were tailing her. So, unbeknownst to her, I simply chose to step in and do her a favor."

"So resorting to cheap tricks now, are you, Monkey Trainer?" Ban taunts, trying to buy himself some  
time, hoping that the poison would wear off soon. "Afraid I'd kick your ass into next Tuesday if we  
had a fair fight?"

"No more tricks, Snake Bastard. You took our Emperor from us." Shido hisses, bearing his fangs.  
He reaches over and flicks off the light. "And I'm here to make you pay."

Without warning, Shido slams his fist into Ban's stomach, sending Ban reeling to the ground on his knees,  
gasping for air. The world blurs as the air rushes out of Ban's lungs. For the moment, as the pain in his  
stomach chokes him; Ban's limp form can only kneel helplessly at Shido's feet.

_Kneel! Midou Ban bows before no one!_

"Damn… you… Monkey Boy."

Glaring wickedly, Shido kicks Ban in the ribs, causing Ban to wrench onto his back, writhing in pain.

"_(cough)..._ What the… _(gasp)..._ FUCK… _(cough)…_ has gotten into you… _(wheeze)…_ Monkey Boy?"  
Ban groans through gritted teeth.

Shido does not respond. Instead, he drags Ban roughly by the neck into the living room and drapes him  
over the arm of the couch. Ban can feel the chill of claws against his bare skin as Shido tears off his clothes.

"You should be more concerned about what's getting into _**you**_… Midou Ban."

Ban flinches.

"I'm going to KILL you, you fucking bastard!" Ban growls.

Shido cackles dangerously, while gagging, blindfolding, and binding the wrists and ankles of his captive with  
his tattered clothing. He leans forward, grinding his hips into Ban, threateningly. Ban can feel Shido's breath,  
lapping lustfully against his ear.

"If you think you can…" He hisses tauntingly, "But not until I fuck you over, the way you fucked me over."

Ban shudders and swallows hard. _God, this is NOT FUCKING HAPPENING_.

"So many died because of what you did, treacherous snake!"

Ban thinks he hears the sound of a zipper and then the ruffle of fabric falling to the floor.

_Shit, this is bad! Filthy fucking bastard!_

Calloused fingers roughly probe his exposed entrance.

Something snaps inside Ban as his eyes widen.

_Oh… God… No!_

Panicked, he tries to strain against the bindings, but cannot move.

"Get the fuck off of me… you filthy bastard!"

"Struggle all you want," Shido taunts darkly, "The more you fight, the greater the conquest…" He sadistically  
plunges the calloused finger into Ban's cavern, "… the sweeter my revenge."

Ban groans and winces from the pain shooting through his body.

_Aaaaargh, Nooo!_

Ban tries to will his body to move, but Lady Poison's potions are potent. He is trapped.

_Oh, God… Please. Not here. Not like this. Not with HIM. _

A single thought… almost a prayer… comes to the forefront of his mind.

_Ginji…_


	2. Unbridled Fury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Japanese:  
>   
> _Kiyoshi_: Quiet  
> _Moushiwake arimasen_: I'm sorry. Very formal. Only used with your superiors.  
> _Bakayarou_ (Often '_Bakkyarou_' when yelled): Bastard/Idiot  
> _Gomen_: I'm sorry. Casual  
> _Tare Ginji_: The chibi form of Ginji

Japanese:  
  
_Kiyoshi_: Quiet  
_Moushiwake arimasen_: I'm sorry. Very formal. Only used with your superiors.  
_Bakayarou_ (Often '_Bakkyarou_' when yelled): Bastard/Idiot  
_Gomen_: I'm sorry. Casual  
_Tare Ginji_: The chibi form of Ginji

* * *

** _Chapter 2: Unbridled Fury_ **

Ginji returns to the apartment and notices the door had been left open. He had been feeling an  
uncomfortable tingling in the back of his neck ever since Ban left Mugenjou that evening, so he  
had left Makubex asleep in the care of Sakura and had come running home. As he cautiously  
enters the apartment, closing the door silently, he hears grunts in the living room, then a voice.

"Struggle all you want. The more you fight, the greater the conquest… the sweeter my revenge."

Shido's voice. Only, it sounded off somehow.

Suddenly a feeling comes over Ginji that startles him. For a single moment, he'd felt Ban's voice  
calling his name. Calling for help.

Ginji races into the living room and surveys the scene, horrified.

"What's going on here!" Ginji demands angrily, glaring at Shido.

Shido turns and gasps, "R-R-Raitei-sama!"

"Ginji..." Ban pants, almost inaudibly.

Trying to compose himself for Ginji, Ban jokes weakly, words garbled through the gag.  
"A little late there… aren't you?"

The flicker in his eyes betrays his bravado.

"You wouldn't start the party without me, would ya, Ban-chan?" Ginji jabs back with a grin,  
hoping to comfort him.

Ginji then turns his attention to the intruder and glares at him. Need to get him away from  
Ban-chan, Ginji thinks.

"I don't want to fight you, Shido." Ginji states sternly "Leave now, before we both do  
something we might regret."

"Moushiwake arimasen, Raitei Amano Ginji-sama… but I cannot." Shido replies flatly.

_Need a plan… A plan, A plan, A plan… What would Ban-chan do at a time like this?  
Come on, Ginji… Think! APlanAPlanAPlanAPlan… Sigh… Ban-chan was always  
better at this than me. _

Suddenly, an idea forms in Ginji's mind.

_Shido addressed me as 'Raitei' twice just now. Odd. Hmm, I wonder… It just might work…  
But only one shot at this. Need to focus._

_Closing his eyes, Ginji focuses his mind on a single image: Ban eyes. Ban's beautiful blue eyes:  
sometimes as cold and chilling as midnight, sometimes as warm and crisp as the summer sky,  
sometimes as deep and soothing as the ocean. Ginji allows that image to take hold in the back  
of his mind, to anchor him for what he was about to do._

Ginji takes a deep breath.

"Then you leave me no choice. Gomen, Shido-kun."

Ginji's eyes narrow and his entire body slowly begins to glow. Sizzling sparks illuminate the room.

Ban, feeling the hairs on his neck rise and sensing what is happening, tries to call out  
"GINJI, NO! STOP!" but the sound is muffled by the gag.

"Shut the HELL up, Bakkyarou!" Shido barks, bringing his fist down on Ban's head as hard as he can.  
The force of the blow knocks Ban to the ground. His head hits the floor with a sickening thud.

"Gin…ji…" Ban whispers, as his eyes close.

Horrorstruck, Ginji stares at his unconscious partner, lying bound, bruised and naked on the ground.  
A crimson glint oozing from the side of Ban's mouth catches Ginji's eye and awakens a rage he has  
never felt outside of Mugenjou.

_Release me, Ginji. You need me. Let me destroy your enemies. Only I can give you peace…  
the peace that comes with oblivion._

Ginji can feel the voice of Raitei coaxing him, seducing him. Curling up both fists, clamping his eyes shut,  
and biting down on his lower lip, Ginji tries to remain focused on his anchor.

_Ban-chan._

Suddenly, the image of Ban-chan, unconscious and bloody, flashes in Ginji's thoughts. Ginji's narrow  
eyes snap open, revealing cold orbs, the color of lightning. The intense energy that courses though his  
body bathes the room in a brilliant blaze.

Though alarmed by the sudden burst of light, Shido focuses on the task at hand and points his cupped  
palm at Ban as the air around him begins to pulsate. The vibrations emanating from Shido resonate  
throughout the room, raising a symphony of rattling pots and pans, clinking glasses and furniture  
drumming against the hard wood floor.

"Die, Midou Ban!" snarls Shido. "Like the treacherous snake you are!"

"GET. THE FUCK. AWAY FROM HIM." Raitei roars fiercely.

In a blinding flash, Shido is knocked back against the wall by a plasma ball. The force of the impact  
causes him to discharge his blast involuntarily. Raitei quickly steps between Shido and Ban and steels  
himself to absorb Shido's blast. The blast knocks Raitei back a few steps, but he simply shakes it off  
and maintains his battle stance; grinding his teeth in fury, digging his heels into the ground, clenching his  
fists in determination, lightning coiling tightly around his body like a cornered cobra.

Veins on fire with adrenaline, Raitei is barely winded and, within the blink of an eye, charges headlong  
at Shido. Dazed and struggling to maintain his balance, Shido reactively raises his arms to cover his face  
from the dazzling aura encircling Raitei, as the Lightning Lord prepares for a second attack. With  
lightning speed, Raitei lunges forward, grabs Shido by the neck and lifts him off the ground.

"You're NOT Shido." Raitei states flatly, his hands glowing. "Tell me who you are… or else."

Shido's eyes widen as Raitei raises his free hand, electricity crackling and hissing threateningly.

"I was one of your own, before that vermin snake poisoned you to us."

A flash of recognition reaches Raitei's eyes. That voice. Slowly, the face of the man before him transforms.  
Shido's features dissolve, replaced by the features of a former VOLTS member: Wave Master Shiga Kiyoshi.

"Explain yourself, Kiyoshi." Raitei commands impatiently, staring his captive down with menacing eyes. "NOW."

Suddenly growing frightened in Raitei's grip, Kiyoshi replies, pleadingly. "This bastard took you from us,  
Raitei-sama. Without you, our defenses crumbled. So many losses. We wanted... NEEDED... revenge.  
Midou Ban deserves to suffer and die for what he did to us!"

Pulling his captive's face close to his own, Raitei releases just enough electricity to cause Kiyoshi's throat to constrict.

"You've gone too far." He growls threateningly as Raitei's bloodlust pulses in his mind.

_Let the rage envelop you, protect you! Let me kill him! Go ahead! Give in to me… and let me kill him!  
You want me to kill him… Need me to kill him._

Still holding Kiyoshi off the ground, Raitei strides over to the balcony and holds Kiyoshi over the ledge.

"P-P-Please, Raitei-sama… Please… please spare me." Kiyoshi begs, his whole body convulsing as much  
from terror as from lack of air.

Raitei tightens his grip and, rage seething from his eyes and every pore on his body, glares intensely at the terrified Kiyoshi.

"If you EVER touch Midou-san again…" Raitei curls his hand into a fist as the sparks snap and hiss even more  
loudly and dangerously than before.

Kiyoshi, now completely paralyzed by fear, only whimpers.

"Because you were once one of my own, I will allow you to live. But remember this…" Raitei loosens his grip slightly  
then releases a single sustained searing jolt of electricity, enough to be extremely painful, but not enough to kill.

The intense pain rips a bone-chilling scream from Kiyoshi's lips.

"NEVER question my decisions again."

Unceremoniously, Raitei releases his grip and allows his former VOLTS ally to drop to the sidewalk below. Only two  
stories up, after all. A painful lesson, but not a deadly one.

Raitei goes back into the apartment and stands by the window a moment longer, listening to the sounds of footsteps  
scurrying back towards Mugenjou. With a deep sigh, Ginji turns, presses his back against the wall and carefully  
releases all the energy he'd been keeping contained. He slowly slides down the wall to the floor, and with a pop,  
turns into Tare Ginji.

"That was kinda scaaaary," Tare Ginji whimpers quietly to himself with a deep sigh. "Hopefully Kiyoshi was convinced  
enough by his fight with 'Raitei' that he won't try anything like that again."

Popping back to full-sized form, Ginji thinks about the image of Ban's eyes that kept him anchored, even as Raitei's  
seductive voice tried to ensnare him into losing control during battle. The thought of Raitei's voice, lapping at his psyche  
like a lecherous tongue, sends a shudder throughout Ginji's body.

_Another few seconds and I might have lost it. Every time I use that much energy, it gets harder and harder to  
resist the draw of the cold rain. Harder and harder to remember who I am. Harder and harder to come back  
to Amano Ginji._

Even pretending to be Raitei is playing with fire; but the happy temptation of Ban's azure orbs have always held a greater  
draw than anything Raitei could ever offer.

_Ah, Ban-chan. Once again, it was **you** who saved **me**._

Having expended all his energy to maintain a Raitei-level charge, Ginji eyes drift closed and he passes out on the living room floor.


	3. Unspoken Affection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **_Chapter 3: Unspoken Affection_ **

**_Chapter 3: Unspoken Affection_ **

Kiyoshi's scream jolts Ban awake. Though the haze of being hit on the head hasn't worn  
off yet, he thinks he hears Raitei's voice in the room,

Not good. If Raitei is here, I might not be able to stop him in this condition, Ban thinks.

As Ban regains his senses, he notices that the room had become quiet. He tries to strain  
his ears to listen, wondering if maybe they had taken the fight somewhere else.

Hearing an extended silence, Ban thinks the worst and starts to struggle against his restraints.  
Slowly Ban's limbs begin to respond to his commands. Looks like I was only hit with a tiny  
dose of paralysis perfume, Ban thinks to himself.

"Ginji? Ginji?" Ban calls nervously, words still muffled by the gag.

Hearing Ban's voice brings Ginji back to consciousness. Quickly jumping to his feet, the blond  
hurries over to aid his partner. Ginji gingerly lifts Ban and gently places him on the couch. Ginji  
then goes to the kitchen and returns with a knife, Ban's make-shift medical kit and a warm towel.  
Working quickly, but carefully, he releases Ban from his restraints.

"Ban-chan? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" Ginji asks worriedly, as he begins to wipe the  
dried blood from Ban's face with the warm cloth.

As soon as he is free of his blindfold, Ban cups a hand over Ginji's cheek, gazing into his warm  
mocha pools. "Ginji? Oh, thank God, Ginji!"

Then suddenly growing irritated, he smacks Ginji on the side of the head "BAKA! I thought you turned..."

"I'm sorry, Ban-chan. I needed him to believe it."

Ginji takes a moment to inspect Ban's wounds. Looks like Ban-chan already cleaned some  
of his wounds earlier today, Ginji observes. Spotting a large bruise on Ban's right side,  
Ginji gingerly reaches out to touch it. Ban winces, but does not pull away from Ginji's touch.  
Badly bruised maybe, but doesn't seem broken, Ginji thinks. Noticing that Ban is shivering,  
Ginji grabs the blanket that lay crumpled on the couch from several nights before and wraps  
it over Ban's shoulders.

Cold, exhausted and emotionally spent from the ordeal, as well as injuries incurred from the  
recovery mission in Mugenjou, Ban slumps into his partner's arms as Ginji wraps the blanket  
around him. Ginji responds by leaning in and pulling Ban closer, almost into his lap.

To Ginji's surprise, Ban leans forward to rest his head on his shoulder and begins to tremble,  
almost imperceptibly… as if holding back a sob.

"Ban-chan. It's okay. It's over now." Ginji soothes instinctively, still holding Ban. His hands  
unconsciously stroke Ban's back tenderly.

If Ban weren't so spent, he probably would have smacked Ginji on the head again for  
mothering him.

"Ban-chan, he didn't… he didn't hurt you, did he?"

Ban shakes his head slightly, then, trying to hide his wincing, replies coolly "Are you kidding?  
No way in hell monkey trainer can hold a candle to the invincible Midou Ban-sama."

His voice is so soft that the remark loses its bite.

Ban remains silent for a long time, closing his eyes and secretly reveling in the warmth of Ginji's arms.  
Ginji's arms are an oasis, nourishing Ban and keeping him safe from the desert that is his life. After  
the recovery mission in Mugenjou and this evening's commotion, Ban is thankful for the time to relax  
in quiet comfort. And somehow, even in the dark cloud of this evening's events, there is a strange  
silver lining that brings Ban comfort. Ginji had stood up for him and protected him, even if it meant  
fighting Shido, one of Ginji's former VOLTS kings and also one of his closest friends.

"I am so sorry, Ban-chan."

Ginji's soft voice breaks Ban out of his daze.

"Huh? Sorry about what?"

"It's my fault Kiyoshi came after you." Ginji replies sadly.

"Kiyoshi? What, did he hire Monkey Boy to attack me or something?"

"Ban-chan… That… wasn't Shido. His name is Kiyoshi. Wave Master Shiga Kiyoshi. He was a spy  
for the VOLTS. He can disguise himself by manipulating vibrations and sound waves to make himself  
look and sound like anyone. I guess he thought that he could hurt you more if he disguised himself as Shido."

Ban grunts disgustedly.

"I'm sorry, Ban-chan. I am so sorry. You're always getting hurt because of me. Because of my past.  
Because I am so stupid. I am so, so sorry. It's all my fault." Ginji intones, almost inaudibly through  
the lump forming in his throat, "Kiyoshi attacked you because he blamed you for breaking up the  
VOLTS. It's all my fault. He almost…"

"You left Mugenjou to save them." Ban runs his fingers soothingly through Ginji's hair.

You left Mugenjou to save me, Ban thinks to himself.

"That's not something you ever need to apologize for, Ginji."

"He won't bother you again, Ban-chan. I swear to you."

Ban lifts his head slightly and places his chin on Ginji's shoulder. He notices Kiyoshi's discarded shirt  
as well as remnants of fabric from Ban's own torn shirt on the floor and tightens his embrace around Ginji.

"Dammit. If I ever see that fucking bastard again…" Ban tries to growl, but exhaustion weakens  
the growl into a groan.

Ginji frowns, concerned about his friend's sudden change of tone.

"Shhh… Enough, Ban-chan." Ginji says, shushing Ban while still rubbing his back reassuringly. "Let's try  
not to think about it anymore. All that matters is that you're okay."

Ginji presses his body closer to Ban, careful not to hurt him. Trying to hold back tears of relief,  
Ginji drowns himself in his partner's presence. Entering into an almost trance-like state, his thoughts  
echo around a single theme.

_Oh, Ban-chan. Thank God. Thank God, you're alive. Thank God, I made it in time.  
Thank God. Thank God. Thank God. _

Troubling thoughts and 'what if's' begin to bubble to the surface of Ginji's mind.

_What if Ban-chan had been attacked on the way home?  
What if I had arrived just a few a minutes later?  
What if Kiyoshi hadn't bought my act?  
What if I had lost control of my power and become Raitei?  
What if Raitei had hurt Ban-chan? _

Wincing, Ginji quickly quashes any further thoughts.

_Ban-chan would call me a 'baka' for thinking such things. He would tell me to focus on  
'what is,' not 'what could have been'. And right now, Ban-chan is alive and safe here  
in my arms._

"I'm glad you're okay, Ban-chan."

_Because Ban-chan… I love you. _


	4. Unintended Admission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Japanese:

Japanese:

_Itsumo_: Always/Forever  
_Suki dayo_: I like you (a more reserved way to tell someone you like them.)  
_Aishiteru_: I love you

* * *

  
** _ Chapter 4: Unintended Admission _ **

Ban does not lift his eyes from the clumps of fabric strewn on the floor.

Wannabe Monkey Trainer. Damn bastard. No one has ever humiliated Midou Ban  
like that before. If there was any humiliating to be done, you can be damn well sure  
that Midou Ban was the one doing the humiliating.

It wouldn't have been so bad if Wannabe Monkey Trainer had just attacked him.  
Punched him or something. Even injured and with his trump card spent, Ban could  
put up a damn good fight by sheer willpower, instinct and stubbornness. He wasn't  
called a fighting genius for nothing.

But almost getting rap… assaulted… like that was the most humiliating experience  
he could imagine. Especially because he never told anyone that he was still a virg…

Ban thoughts are interrupted by the feeling of Ginji's hands. Sensing that Ban was growing  
more troubled with each passing breath, Ginji had moved from just rubbing Ban's back  
to stroking anything he could reach… back, hair, neck, arms… in an effort to comfort him.  
It was working.

As Ginji's ministrations ease the fight out of Ban, the tired brunette forces himself to relax  
in his blond partner's embrace. It all felt so good. Ginji's warmth. Ginji's soothing scent,  
like a summer storm. Ginji's light affectionate touch. Most of all, Ginji's expressive soulful  
eyes and joyful smile. Ban couldn't remember the last time he actually enjoyed being held.  
He wasn't sure he ever enjoyed it before. Somehow, though, it was different with Ginji.  
A lot of things were different with Ginji. Ban usually bristled at even the slightest touch,  
but somehow he didn't mind Ginji's frequent glomping, despite how much be protested  
outwardly.

If Ban could be completely honest with himself, he actually really enjoyed Ginji's touch.  
Even missed it, when Ginji was off to see his friends. In fact, despite being a fearless,  
invincible, battle genius, there was one matter where Ban was a complete coward. He  
often wondered to himself if he would ever get the courage to touch Ginji back the way  
he longed to.

Ban lets out a long sad sigh and thinks to himself, "Ginji, I just... I wanted... want...  
my first time... to be with... you…"

Hearing the sound of his own voice startles him.

Realizing what he just said sends Ban into a panic.

Shit! Did he just say that out loud! Shit! Shit! Shit! He couldn't take it back. Pretending  
he didn't say anything wouldn't work either. Maybe Ginji didn't hear him? Ban stares  
at the floor, cursing himself inwardly for what he just said. His heart races as he wonders  
if Ginji heard him and, if he did, how Ginji would respond to his confession.

Ban feels Ginji's body become tense for a long moment then draw away from him slowly.  
Trying to contain his distress, Ban mashes his eyes shut and holds his breath. He shudders,  
afraid to lose the only light in his otherwise endlessly dark and hollow existence…

_Oh, God. Please don't leave me, Ginji. _

Then a hand gently lifts his chin. Ban opens his eyes hesitantly. Cerulean meets chocolate.

"Me, too… Ban-chan."

Ginji casts his eyes downward, blushing slightly.

"I… I think I… I'd really like it if… if my first time were with you."

Timidly, Ginji raises his eyes and gazes longingly into Ban's eyes, studying every nuance  
of his partner's expression.

The look in Ginji's eyes takes Ban's breath away. Ban did not think it was possible for  
a gaze and a smile to contain that much love, devotion, and hope.

Slowly, Ginji leans forward and places a feather-light kiss on Ban's lips. Ban presses into  
the kiss and wraps his arms around Ginji's neck, tangling his fingers into silky blond spikes.  
The kiss is slow, soft and full of unspoken desire and affection. Ban savors the warmth  
of his partner's lips and the caress of his breath against his own lips.

Gradually pulling away from the kiss, Ban nuzzles his head in the crook between Ginji's  
neck and shoulder. Ginji can feel the smile on Ban's lips tickle his neck.

"Stay with me tonight?" Ban pleads, suddenly feeling uncharacteristically vulnerable. Did that  
just come out of his mouth? Ginji must be rubbing off on him. Ginji was always better at this  
touchy-feely stuff.

"Itsumo, Ban-chan. I'll always be with you." Ginji whispers into his ear, stroking Ban's hair  
and lightly kissing his cheek as he lifts Ban off the couch, presumably to carry him to his room.

Normally his ornery self would gripe because Ban absolutely loathes the loss of control involved  
with being carried, but there… in that moment, as he looks up at Ginji and feels warmed by the  
gentle smile greeting his gaze, his stubborn nature takes a back seat to his desire to be comforted  
by the man he lov…

Shit! Was he really about to use that word? Ban thinks about it for a moment. It seems strange  
to even be thinking it. And yet, the word fit the moment. Yes. In that moment, what Ban wanted  
more than anything in the world was be in the arms of the man he loves… to be held by Ginji…  
and fall asleep feeling that warmth… both the warmth of Ginji's electric blanket body and the  
warmth of Ginji's tender soul.

"I'll never leave you, Ban-chan." Ginji's words, whispered lovingly right next to his ear, break  
Ban out of his reverie "Because I believe in the 'S'… and I believe in you."

Ban sighs, this time not sadly, but hopefully. Because the 'S' means we will never be alone,  
Ban thinks to himself as Ginji carries him into the bedroom and closes the door.

"Suki dayo … Ginji."

"Aishiteru… Ban-chan."

**OWARI**


End file.
